Feelings Left Alone
by Dozing Dead
Summary: Chapter Four Added! AkuRoku, Riku/Sora LEMON M/M
1. Getting A Heart

Roxas and Axel Yaoi  
Feelings left Alone

(This continues off from the part when Axel says quietly to himself, "I would," after hearing Roxas say, "No one would miss me anyway." Also, they wear BOXERS under their pants even though they wear leather. Why? Cuz no one will notice! Mwahahahaha! AND BEGIN!)

The blonde haired boy turned slightly, looking back to his closest friend, swearing he heard him mutter something. "Axel, what?" Roxas asked, fighting his leather Organization XIII uniform as it tried to stop him from further turning to the side.

Axel looked up, a nameless emotion lingering in his emerald eyes. He wasn't sure exactly what to say back. The normal Axel would have just shrugged it off, letting the younger boy dwell on it by himself, but this moment was different. The strong fire endlessly burning in his soul dimmed down to a small ember, the fire calmed by the presence of the blonde. The red head progressed toward the stilled Roxas, his shoulders swaying slightly with each step. When the red head was only standing about a foot away, the blonde felt a slight warmness rise to his cheeks.

"If you were to disappear, I would miss you." Axel announced, placing his hands on the smaller boy's shoulders.

Only seeing this notion as a sign of the close relation of friendship they developed, the blonde smiled, showing off his pearly whites. "Thanks, Axel. At least someone cares." he paused for a moment and looked up into the red head's face, locking sapphire with emerald spheres. "You're the best friend a guy can have."

Friend? Axel thought, shocked that hearing the word actually hurt his heart. Why? Wasn't he satisfied with being just the blonde's closest friend? Why did the classification of "friend" hurt so badly? _Maybe…_the red head began in thought, _maybe what I feel is more than friendship… _

"I…am only a friend?" Axel asked, the words spilling before he could hold them in. He continued to look into Roxas' eyes, disbelief swelling in the young boy's face.

"What more could you possibly want from me? I have given you trust, care…What more could I give?" Roxas gave a hurt look, disappointed by Axel's reply to his compliment. It was outright rude, uncalled for, but the look in the red head's eyes seemed lost, emptied out of the rebellious spirit he once possessed only moments ago.

Axel closed the distance between him and the blonde, looking down at those plush lips that were only Roxas. He never felt so confused in his life, it felt as if he were actually attracted to the young boy. He tried to push the thoughts of coming out of the closet out of his mind, but to no avail, terrible thoughts ran through his mind. He imagined the younger boy crying out his name, and he just had to feel those soft lips.  
A cry it almost was, came from his lips as he felt the warm mouth of his older friend against his own. Roxas tried to escape the older man and took steps back, but Axel was there, taking steps forward along with him. It wasn't long until Axel had Roxas against the wall, hands pinning the young boy at the shoulders. The red head finally pulled back after what it seemed to be hours to the blonde later, taking in a long heavy breath.

"I want all of you, all to myself," Axel whispered as he brushed his lips against the blonde's ear, earning a soft moan.

"A-Axel, but we're both…" Roxas was interrupted as he felt something warm and wet move along his jaw line.

"It shouldn't matter, and I don't care." The red head continued on with his ministrations, hands moving onto the young boy's chest, pulling down the zipper to the robe agonizingly slow.

The blonde didn't give up. "We don't even have hearts, Axel. Its impossible for you or me to even feel this way...please..." Roxas tensed up as he felt a gloved finger run along his now bare collar bone, wanting nothing more than to escape.

"But when I'm with you," Axel argued, "I feel as if I do have a heart. I may not have a real beating heart, but I do have the one that you've given me," and the red head caught Roxas in a kiss again, soft, and gentle. He felt the younger boy try to squirm out of his grasp, but his strong hands kept the blonde still. Thinking of a better place for his ministrations, Axel pulled out of the kiss and lifted Roxas up in his arms, bridal style.

In an instant, before the blonde could protest, they were gone and appeared in a room. The walls were a fiery red, as if they would set ablaze themselves, the tables were red as well along with the floor, a small sofa, and a bed. The bed was slightly different though, the sheets were a little darker than the rest of the room and the head and foot boards had carvings in them that were to symbolize fire but were kept their original wooden color.

The blonde knew where they were.

"Why are we in your chamber? Put me down!" the blonde demanded, trying to get out of Axel's arms. Instead, the red head continued to carry him...over to the bed.

Roxas was placed on the silk sheets gently, his head comfortably on a pillow, but it wasn't long before Axel was above him, knees on either side of the young boy, hands on either side of his head.

"Roxas, you can't tell me you don't feel anything for me..." the red head said, pain gracing his emerald spheres. "Haven't I given you a heart the same way you have to me?"

The blonde was silent for a moment. He did feel for Axel, but what the red head was doing was only striking fear. Thoughts of escape were rushing through his mind...and how it seemed a fire was really burning in Axel's eyes...Wait, why was he suddenly noticing this about Axel? Now that he thought about it, why was he so afraid? He couldn't well say that he didn't enjoyed the red head's ministrations, for each lingering touch felt like a blessing to his skin. Then it hit him, his fear came from acceptance, but now, he didn't have to worry, for he knew Axel would always accept him...

"You have..." Roxas admitted, looking away from those emerald spheres, "I was just too much of a fool for running away from it...I'm sorry." He moved to feet together, then realized his boots were gone. With one glance downward, he noticed Axel was barefoot as well.

Axel smiled at his friend and gently took the young boy's chin in his hand, making blue spheres look into his own. "It's alright," and again, Axel locked his lips with the blonde's. To his surprise, the blonde kissed back, even wrapping his slender arms around the red head's neck. The older boy began to continue which he was doing earlier, his hand back on Roxas' uniform zipper, unzipping it further. A sigh escaped from the young boy's lips as gloved fingertips graced his bare chest, swirling teasingly around a pink nub. The blonde rose into Axel's touch begging for more. To his dismay, Axel pulled away.

"Just let me take this off..." and Axel zipped the uniform all the way and slipped it off of the young boy. He locked Roxas into another kiss as he slowly slide the leather pants off the blonde's hips, fingers ghosting at the swelling hardness already forming. The red head licked the blonde's lower lip, begging for entrance. Roxas granted him access, hips rising into the working gloved fingers from below. Wanting to see some of Axel, he began to work the zipper of the red head's uniform, working faster than Axel had worked on him. The gloved fingers began to tremble as Axel's tongue explored the warm cavern, occasionally stroking his tongue along the blondes.

With Axel's robe now sliding down around his elbows, Roxas ran his fingers along the red head's spine, making him shiver. Becoming impatient, Axel pulled out of the kiss and practically ripped off the leather pants that stuck to Roxas like a second skin, causing the smaller boy to gasp in surprise. He grinned as he saw only one layer of fabric remained in his way of seeing his newfound love. Roxas only blushed, feeling a little uncomfortable under Axel's staring. The blonde was already hard, which made Axel laugh. The red head took off his robe completely, discarding it to the floor, and placed his fingers on the waistband that hugged the blonde's hips, but another set of hands pulled them away.

"Not until yours are gone too," Roxas sighed almost shyly, finally deciding to remove his gloves, taking off Axel's gloves as well.

"Of course, angel," Axel replied, beginning to pull off the leather pants on him.

Roxas blinked. "A-angel?"

"Why not?"

"It's just...I dunno..." the blonde answered, a pink color in his cheeks.

The red head chuckled, then literally ripped his own pants off, almost taking the under garment with them, revealing that he was also in a hard state. He didn't really have much patience when it came down to it, he didn't really have the right temper to deal with patience. Axel finally changed his position and began to straddle the young boy's hips, rocking forward to cause his hardness to rub against the blonde's, bringing moans from the both of them. Wanting more, Roxas rose his hips to meet the red head's, moaning and sighing from the friction.

Their actions only made them harder, making each burn with lustful desires. They rocked faster, grinding against the other. Axel leaned down for another kiss, sliding in his tongue when Roxas let out a moan. The red head's hands traveled along the blonde's slim figure, then a finger and thumb caught one of the nubs and tweaked it. The blonde moaned into his paramour's mouth, rising into every touch. Thinking proved to be difficult as a hand wormed down the boxers and grabbed the blonde's shaft, causing him to break his lips away from Axel and let out a long moan.

The red head chuckled. "You like that, Angel?" he let a finger swirl around the head.

"Ah...Ax...el..." was all the blonde could managed. He raised his hips into the hand, begging for more.

"Say please," the red head said, smirking.

"Axel!" Roxas beamed, but his voice soon lowered to a deep moan as Axel gave a light squeeze. "F-fine...please?"

Victorious, Axel laughed for a moment then began pumping the boy, loving the sounds that escalated from the blonde. The red head moved his lips to the blonde's neck and nibbled at the skin there. Roxas began to thrust into his friend's hand, moaning loudly at the feeling. It felt so new, for Roxas has never touched himself before. He just never really thought about it or felt the need to, but now he just needed more friction. He let Axel know this, and the red head happily complied. When the blonde felt as if he were to burst, Axel pulled his hand away. The blonde sighed in disappointment, making the red head laugh.

"Even though you look adorable when you pout, don't worry. I'll be sure you get to feel that wanted release you've been begging for..." Axel informed, voice thick with lust. His kisses moved down to the blonde's collar bone, being sure to leave a love bite. The red head's actions made Roxas writhe under him, only encouraging the man to continue. Axel then encased a nub with his lips, sucking and nibbling on it, making Roxas rise up to meet his lips. The red head moved along the blonde's torso quicker, pausing at Roxas' navel to dip his tongue in a few times.

"Oh...Axel..." the blonde moaned as the nubs on his chest were tweaked again. His senses were being attacked...and if felt wonderful.

Axel withdrew his tongue from the blonde's navel and moved lower, using his chin to push down the snug boxers the boy wore. He greeted each new bare patch of skin with kisses and nibs, then took the waist band in his teeth, pulling down the boxers the rest of the way, being sure the fabric brushed over Roxas' weeping shaft. The red head flung them out of his mouth and they flew to the floor, landing on the leather they had previously discarded. Axel looked down at his beloved, not bothering to hide his hungry emerald spheres. Roxas blushed again and turned his head.

"Do you have to stare like that?" the blonde asked shyly.

"But you're so beautiful, no need to be embarrassed," Axel reassured, then gave the young boy a chaste kiss and pulled away. He then lowered his head slowly to the head of the blonde's shaft, but stopped when he felt two hands tangled in his rebellious red hair. The red head looked up, emerald locking with sapphire spheres.

"Axel..." It wasn't a question or a demand, nor a beg, but it somehow the meaning got to Axel.

"I want to, so hush," the red head replied, finally giving one of the blonde's erect nipples a break and slid a finger into Roxas' mouth. On instinct, Roxas began to suck on it to much of Axel's delight. The older boy lowered his head down once again, giving the blonde's shaft an agonizing lick along the underside then up to the head where he let his tongue wrap around it. Roxas moaned loudly around Axel's finger and tried his hardest to hold his hips back. He didn't want this treatment to end with a wrong move.

Axel respected the blonde's control and soon encased the head in his mouth, sucking on it gently but then harder as a beg from the blonde. Moans escalated when the red head took more of the blonde into his mouth, moving his other hand onto Roxas' hip, holding it firmly down. The other hand had now two fingers sliding in and out of the blonde's mouth.

A collage of emotions and pleasure was plaguing Roxas. The blonde wanted to shove his cock into his paramour's mouth but held back. The feeling was unbearable and it was driving him crazy. His fingers tangled in the red hair, painfully slow pushing his hands against Axel's head, begging him to take more of him.

Again, Axel complied. He relaxed as he deep throated the blonde, running his tongue along the length, sucking roughly, earning more mewls from the young boy. Once he had Roxas fully, he began to bob his head. This went on for a few moments, before Roxas had moaned loudly, clutching onto Axel's hair tightly. Taking this early sign, Axel pulled away enough till only the head was still in his mouth and began to suck roughly as the hand that was on the blonde's hip moved to pump the base of his shaft. Roxas let out more mewls.

"Axel! Oh gods..." he cried, moaning out Axel's name, rising to meet the red head's mouth. It wasn't long before his orgasm swept him, releasing his load into Axel's awaiting mouth.

After swallowing most of he could of the blonde's cum, Axel pulled back, smirking as he swiped some of the white substance from the corner of his lips. The red head brought the finger to Roxas' lips.

"Go on, have a taste," Axel ordered. Not to his surprise, the blonde deftly took the finger into his mouth, sucking on it gingerly, knowing the effect was sending blood to the red head's groin.

Seeing this as an opportune moment to lubricate his fingers, Axel forced two fingers into the blonde's mouth. Once he felt they were ready, the red head pulled them back. Slowly, the fingers moved down Roxas' body, slipping behind him once they past the blonde's hips. As he found the ring of muscle he quested for, the red head crashed his lips with the blonde's, enjoying the mewl that came. Almost instantly, the mewl turned into a sound of discomfort as Roxas felt a finger rub along his entrance, lubricating the tight ring then entering. Roxas writhed under his red headed lover, not knowing exactly of what to feel of the intrusion.

The blonde pulled away from his lover's lips at he felt another digit ease inside him.

"It feels so..."

"Weird?" Axel finished. He chuckled as he began to scissor his fingers against the tight walls. "You just wait til I find..." but the red head was cut off as he heard the blonde moan loudly. His grin was plagued with lust as he stroked the spot again, loving the sounds he heard. The older man slipped in one more finger, stretching his blonde love further and stroking the sweet spot more roughly.

Roxas was beginning to see stars, nothing had felt so good before. He began grinding his hips against the intruding digits, moaning as his prostate was touched again and again. The blonde wanted more, the fingers inside him no longer satisfied the aching lust. At first, he was not sure what he wanted, but when he looked down to see Axel's arousal, it hit him.

"Axel..." Roxas begged.

Smirking, the red head listened. "Yes?"

The blonde bit his lip, a little shy and a small blush tinting his cheeks. "Fuck me."


	2. Those Three Words

**A/N: Even though I doubt people acutally read these... Look, the second chapter, omfg. Took me long enough to update, huh? Sorry bout that, I got other stories I'm working on. And even though I only got eight... Thank you for the reviews, and thank you for adding me to some of your fav stories list and so on. It makes me happy. Anyway, come on you guys! Get yer act together! My version has four more reviews! Lets try to aim high! And oh so sorry this is short, chu**

**Feelings Left Alone**

**Pt 2**

_Quick Review of Chapter One_

_ Axel begins wondering about his emotions for Roxas, then discovered he lusted for the blonde. After some seduction, Axel has Roxas on his back, legs open, asking to be fucked. How will things proceed?_

The red head sucked back in the spit the dared to drool from his mouth. His blonde paramour just asked to be fucked... now could Roxas beg as well? Once placing the blue eyed boy's legs over his shoulders, the short torture began.

"Ask sweetly," and Axel slowly continued to thrust his fingers inside the blonde, knowing it was driving the younger crazy.

Gasping, Roxas did.

"Please fuck me, Axel..." The blonde's voice was so lust ridden, the red head might've creamed himself then and there if he lacked self control. Luckily, he didn't...

"How bad do you want it?" Fingers slid out, and to replace the lost pleasure, Axel grounded his erection into Roxas'.

"Axel!"

"Tell me," the red head demanded, rocking harder into the blonde's hips.

Silence, then Roxas decided to say 'fuck you' to his pride.

"I need you so fucking bad! Fuck me now, you bastard! I need to feel you inside me, fuck, please!"

More blood rushed to Axel's cock as he saw his new lover continue to beg for him. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore, he guided his cock to the blonde's entrance and slammed himself inside, almost choking on a strangled breath as the red head felt the immense tightness around him. This definitely beat jacking off in the shower...

Upon impact, Roxas nearly screamed, the earlier intruding digits did not fully prepare him for Axel's size. It hurt badly, but the blonde didn't dare show it. A quick nod silently told his love to move, even though it had only been a few seconds. The pain was evident in his eyes, and the red head saw this.

Guilt seeped into his emotions, and Axel felt terrible. Worried emerald spheres looked into sapphire as he spoke.

"Roxas, let's start slow. I want you to enjoy yourself, not writhe in pain," and indeed, his movements started slowly, being sure to have the blonde become accustomed with the feeling and stretching.

Surely, the ache went away, replaced by a light sense of pleasure. Then, a long groan as Roxas' prostrate was struck, and the real fun began.

"Oh, Axel!" the blonde moaned, suddenly thrusting his hips up to meet with his lover's. "Harder, need you to fuck harder..."

"Mmm," was the reply, along with a quick thrust, eliciting a moan from the both of them.

Their filthy act didn't continue for much longer as the rhythm was sped, heavy pants and moans escalating in sound. The smack of skin against skin was almost buried under their mewls. Soon, their movements were frantic as the neared release, the act becoming sloppy and almost brutal.

"Gods, yes!" Roxas groaned, one of his hands moving down to his seemingly ignored arousal, pumping it hard and fast. "Fuck me, Axel! Fuck me!" and his orgasm was intense, the blonde was seeing imaginary stars as if from a child's cartoon.

Inner walls clamping down, the red head moaned loudly, thrusting roughly into the tight passage, then coming deep inside his paramour. All of Axel's energy was stolen from him, arms trembling as they held up Roxas' thighs. Pulling out, the red head heard his lover wince slightly and smiled to himself before collapsing to the side. Under him, the silk sheets felt wonderful, the fabric kissing each contour of his tired body. A glance at Roxas, and the red head forced himself to get up, fetching a red towel from the bathroom and cleaning up the blonde.

Once finished, Axel laid back down, face nuzzling into his lover's neck. The blonde just gasped in response, his form spent.

"Roxas," the red head sighed. "I love you."

Ice... an upheaval of frozen water shot through the blonde's mind. For some reason, those three words were the last Roxas wanted to hear. They hurt, stinging his conscious, electrifying his nerves. The younger suddenly pushed the red head away from him and sat up, tears forming in sapphire orbs. He covered himself with the silk sheet, a great need to be alone sweeping over him. Roxas didn't know why he felt this way, but he was in severe pain. He wanted to die...

"Roxas?" Axel asked, worried. "What's wrong?" The red head put out his hand, to touch his paramour.

"... I'm leaving," and surely enough, the blonde disappeared, his form fading into the colors about him.

"Ro... Roxas? ... Roxas? Roxas!?" the red head called out, heart broken. Still naked, Axel sat on his bed, not knowing what to think. Did he do something wrong, if so, what? What did he do? Was this encounter with the blonde... just one-sided? No... it couldn't have been, it just couldn't. But then... what would he do if it was? Didn't Roxas say that the red head had given him a heart? Surely that meant something... right? Right?

If it did, then why was Axel full of doubt? Why was the fiery no body on the verge of actually shedding a tear, something he had never done in his life? Somehow, the red head deducted that whatever happened was his own fault, some careless messup performed by him. Holy fuck... Axel had never felt so terrible...

In a sterile white room, Roxas wept. Life suddenly sucked, the blonde was so confused. Thoughts of dying plagued his mind, his nonexistent heart feeling a light sense of relief at the idea of having a bullet shot threw his head, a rapier gouged in his torso, a dagger at his throat. Why... why did he feel this way? Just why the bloody fuck was he feeling like this?! Roxas came up empty handed as he asked himself this, lost to find an unknown answer. Why couldn't he be normal? Why couldn't he just be... human... That was it! Humanity... surely the key to his evident happiness. A thought occurred to him, why not just take the place of his other half, the annoying brunette who had a hero complex. A true life... a real purpose... This was what Roxas had wanted, and by the great will of Gaia, he was going to get it...

**A/N: Yeah... I intended this to be only a two shot... but... with this kind of ending, I dunno. If I get reviews that request for more chapters, it may inspire me to write more... so... review... please... I'll love you forever and... I'll write another lemon if you guys request one! Yeah... another lemon... BTW, I hope you liked the lemon in this chapter, I personally thought I did pretty crummy. That's what I get for forcing myself to write when I'm on a writer's block... sigh**


	3. Paranoia

**A/N: Yeah, here's another part! WOOT WOOT! But I have terrible news... this might be all I'll ever get done. Due to a negative (but truthful) comment received from a friend, I have writer's block yet again but on this story, and so it may never be finished. Terribly sorry, but Roxas, Axel, and maybe Demyx are out of character. I've only played the game for about twelve hours now (COM for 24) so I don't know much about the Organization XIII characters. Forgive me, please. Anyway, if you like this and how I write, review and somehow tell me your e-mail or some way for me to send messages to you. I'll send you all that I write, up to date, and I won't forget about you. Currently, I am working on a story about a high school student. What happens and what gender this student is is for you to find out. Just to let you know, its a yaoi**

**Feelings Left Alone **

**Pt 3**

_Quick Review of Chapter Two_

_Roxas and Axel had sex, and now is the blonde having second thoughts? Why is he feeling the way he is all of a sudden? And who exactly is his target?_

Not knowing why, Sora felt a shiver crawl down his spine. He stopped in mid-step and looked behind him. Donald and Goofy halted as well, looking at the brunette confused.

"Sora!" the duck quacked, shaking his tail feathers impatiently. "Let's get a move on!"

The dog just stood, a little worried.

"Is everything alright? Did you sense a Heartless?" Goofy asked.

A few more glances around, and the brunette waved his hand, assuring there was nothing wrong. He then walked back up to them, continuing on with their nightly patrol of Traverse Town. Even though he smiled and cracked some jokes, something deep inside of him was screaming with utmost fear. It was silly, there was nothing to be afraid of, yet how could he explain his trembling body? He knew it wasn't the cold, the clothes he wore kept him plenty warm, so what else could it be. Sora felt as if he were being stalked by someone... something, feeling its eyes on his back.

"Can... can we stop for the night? Its getting late, and I'm awfully tired," and the brunette emphasized this with a yawn. As fake it may have been, he fooled his animalistic friends and they headed to an inn.

When they arrived, things didn't get better. Having his own room, Sora's paranoia increased. Despite the clock tower ringing twice, the brunette kept all the lights in the room as he lay in the comfortable bed, a warm quilt pulled up to his mid-torso. He had never been so afraid, never. He did have moments in his life when he was scared, but nothing could have prepared him for this. The brunette didn't even dare to close his eyes, feeling as if that whatever was after him would attack at that moment.

Sora bolted upright in his bed when he heard a thud, eyes frantically searching the room. It was only his keyblade, it fell onto the carpet from its originally position of leaning against the wall. Fuck, he had to control himself, at this rate he would surely end the fear by jumping out his window. The room was on the third floor, a faithful leap would assure death.

Quickly, the brunette shook his head. No! No thoughts of suicide. He would have to conquer his fear, discover exactly what it was that was after him. Slowly, he got up from the bed, dressed in only a pair of blue and white plaid boxers. Keyblade in hand, he examined the room, looking closely at each corner. Nothing seemed to be out of place, then he went to check the bathroom.

He choked on his breath as he saw a figure in the shower, the transparent curtain making it difficult to decipher exactly what it was. Being sure his footfalls were silent and holding his breath, Sora made way to the shower. Carefully, he grabbed the edge of the curtain. The brunette gathered his courage and hastily pulled the curtain open, almost ripping it in the process.

"Fucking god!" Sora cursed angrily as he killed the Heartless with one stroke of his blade.

All that for nothing, oh, how mad he was! It was only a bloody Heartless the whole fucking time! The poor boy nearly had a heart attack, and thinking about that, Sora laughed. He really would have lost his heart to a Heartless if he did, and it seemed so funny to him by the name relevance. Donald and Goofy would surely have a great laugh about it as well in the morning.

Assured nothing was after him, the brunette turned off all the lights and went to bed, sleep stealing him almost instantly.

The next morning, or later on that morning, the trio left to Hollow Bastion to discuss matters with (1)Squall and (2)Aeris. They were sent to Twilight Town, due to some strange sights at the mansion. At first, Sora showed a little hesitation, but agreed to go for the sake of the townspeople. It wasn't long at all until they arrived. When going through the small woods by the mansion, they ran into the little black mage, Vivi, and began to palaver with him, asking various questions and so on.

"Have you seen anything strange at the mansion lately?" Donald asked.

The mage shook his head quickly, then adjusted his hat.

"N...no, I haven't. Just a few Heartless that are always nearby."

"Any No Bodies, or anything?" the brunette questioned, fear suddenly seeping into his emotions again.

"Don't think so. I've heard from Seifer that he saw something there though. Ever since, he told me not to wonder too closely, afraid something bad would happen to me." The mage looked down. "I'd wish he wouldn't underestimate me all the time, I can really handle myself pretty well. I mean, I did so well after (3)Grandpa died, so..."

"He's just worried," Goofy suggested. "How old are you, anyway?"

"Nine..."

"See? You're still growin', and I'm sure the reason why Seifer doesn't want you over there is because he really cares for you."

That issue settled, the trio continued on to the mansion cautiously. Once entering the building, Sora grabbed his chest. There was something suffocating about the mansion, the air seemed thick and his lungs felt weak. That terrible sense of fear he felt only last night attacked him again, the impact of it almost bringing the brunette to his knees. Despite this, the young hero pretended nothing was wrong and pushed forward.

The three of them searched every room, the library the last of them. The duck and dog stopped and turned around when they saw their friend standing in the doorway, eyes shaking, face ashen with fear.

"Sora?" Donald and Goofy chorused.

Some moments passed, drenched in an almost eerie silence. The brunette believed this to be utter torture. A numbness began to spread through him, starting at his finger tips and toes. What was happening to him?

His friends called again.

"Sora?"

Finally, a response.

"I just need to rest for a while, didn't sleep well last night," and before they could protest, Sora closed the door and ran off, separating him from the duck and dog.

Down the stairs and out the double doors, the brunette collapsed onto a small patch of grass. The numbness was up to his knees and elbows now, and the poor boy didn't know what to do. Surely the smart choice would be to call for help, inform someone of his current situation. Sadly, when he opened his mouth, no words came, only incoherent sounds. Sora was terrified, so terrified he began to cry, the tears escaping his gorgeous sapphire eyes. What was he to do? He knew that Donald and Goofy were searching inside the mansion, possibly for him now, and he was rendered mute. Who could possibly help him now as the numb feeling spread up to his mid thighs and biceps? All hope lost, the brunette closed his eyes, waiting for some terrible event to take place.

"Sora?"

Hm? Had someone called him? He mentally shrugged it off and exhaled a breath he didn't realize he had been holding.

"Sora!"

The voice was frantic, a man's voice, and fast footfalls sounded on the dirt path then silenced by the grass.

"Sora! Open your eyes! Sora!"

There was something about the voice that was so... familiar... but who could it possibly have been? Curious to find out, the brunette did open his eyes, only half way though. He only saw a vague blur, white and black seeming to blend together before closing his eyes again. Sora felt weak, the numbness spreading into his shoulders and torso now, and he just wanted to rest.

The man had picked him up, bridal style if you will, and ran off, fading away as he reached the shadows.

Pounding on the blonde's door, Axel was definitely gathering attention from the other Organization members. The red head could've sworn he'd seen Demyx pass by at least five times now, surely trying to find out what was going on. Then again, an Axel begging for forgiveness for something he was being awfully vague about wasn't a common sight.

Again, the brunette passed by, and Axel couldn't help but explode.

"Why the hell do you keep passing by?" the red head shouted, glaring at the sitar player.

Demyx showed a small sign of embarrassment at being caught and smiled.

"You don't see an Axel trying..."

"Get on with it, the hell do you want?" Axel hissed, fisting his hands.

"What's wrong? Why's Roxy-kun shut up in his room?" the brunette asked simply.

Now Axel knew that the blonde didn't even show himself while he was gone...

"Look, it's a long story..."

"Oooo! I love stories! Do tell!!" Demyx begged, shaking his red haired friend's shoulders. When the man got dizzy, he pushed the sitar player away and held his head.

"I can't tell you, you air-headed buffoon! I'll never hear the end of it from Xemnas if I do!"

"Oooo! Was it that bad? Did you have fun times with Roxy-kun and now you're the hurt lover?" the brunette asked innocently, but his interest definitely piqued.

Axel was stilled. Somehow, the air-head Demyx hit the nail on the head. How the hell did he do that? Shrugging it off for now, the red head glared at him.

"You tell a soul... and I swear..."

"Now, now," Demyx cooed, waving a finger. "Just let _me _in on some action. Water clones are awfully boring after a while," and he emphasized his boredom by faking to be dead. "So, please?"

Honestly, Axel wasn't exactly sure what the brunette was suggesting. The only idea that came to him seemed far to outrageous for Demyx to ask for, so the red head played stupid a little bit.

"What do you mean exactly?" Axel asked, folding his arms across his chest.

Silence, but only for a moment before the sitar player blurted, "I want fun times with Axel!"

What the bloody fuck was Demyx thinking?! The red head wanted to stay with Roxas now, not jump from bed to bed like he used to. He loved the blonde, and just the thought of fucking the seemingly innocent brunette gave him the chills. Him and Demyx used to have "fun" behind closed doors, but never got to sex. The brunette was just too damn giggly and turned off Axel quickly. He didn't think he would be able to actually get to the point of fucking without storming out of the room annoyed, so there was only one thing he could say.

"No, you're way too... giddy..."

Demyx shrugged and began to walk away. "Fine, fine, if that's how you want it... Oh XEM-" but the brunette was cut off with a hand over his mouth.

"Okay, I'll... I'll have 'fun times' with you. Just stay quiet, or consider yourself out of the 'fun'time," Axel threatened, almost hissing into the sitar player's ear. "Got it?" He moved his hand, still standing behind the brunette.

A nod, then gloved hands went back and grasping onto the red head's hip and pulling them forward while rolling his own hips back, sighing lightly. "Then lets start now, I've wanted you for so long."

The brunette's tone made Axel uncomfortable, he definitely did not want to go through with this. He then reminded himself of the reason why he was doing this: Roxas, the sake of Roxas' pending sanity. Dying on the inside, Axel groaned agonized as Demyx took him to his chamber. Oh god, please, any distraction please come forth and stop this!! Bloody fuck, something had to be done, something had to save the unwilling red head. Surely, afterwards he would be thoroughly disgusted with himself. The brunette was awfully attractive, but ever since that night with Roxas, Axel had dedicated himself to the blonde. He wished for something, anything to help him, and then... the double doors to Roxas' chamber slammed open...

Slowly, eyes opened, looking around the room. All there was was the bed he laid in, a small wooden chair, and a side table with a pitcher, a lit lamp, and glass placed upon it. He wanted to know where he was, yet he was clueless. A look out the window to his right showed only the dark of night. Suddenly, the door was open and a figure in a black outfit strode inside. As fast as light, the figure was right by him, leaning over the bed, asking him questions.

"Why were you there? What were you doing? Why did you collapse? Are you alright? Please say you're okay..."

"Mmph," he grunted in response, sitting up and moving his bare shoulders in a circular motion... Wait... bare? He quickly pulled the blanket up and sighed relieved as he say some loose fitting pajama pants. "Where am I?"

"Answer my questions first, Sora," the figure demanded, hood hiding his face.

Said boy jumped and scooted as far away as he could from the man without falling off.

"H-how did you know my name?" the brunette quivered.

"Sora! I feel hurt..." and then it was only moments for the keyblade master to figure out who it was.

"R-Riku! But I thought you were... and then... Argh!!" Sora held his head, terribly confused. He was joyed to see his friend, but he didn't imagine it would be like this. The brunette always thought they would meet when another 'end of the world' was coming, that seemed to be the time when he was reunited with all his lost comrades ironically. Still, he was happy. He shrugged off his confusion and began answering the questions previously asked the best he could, adding in that it must've been Riku who saved him.

"Why? Because Squall and the others ordered so due to some strange sights. What? We were investigating the mansion. The whole collapsing was because... because I barely got any sleep last night and was pushed past my limits," Sora lied. He continued. "And I'm fine, don't worry." The brunette smiled, trying to assure his friend that he truly was fine, despite recalling the event at the mansion that terrible sense of fear began to burrow into his mind again... "Now answer my question: Where am I?"

Riku laughed as he pulled his hood down and removed the black linen over his eyes.

"You can't tell because I fixed the room up, but you're in Halloween Town. Dr. Finkelstein took good care of you will you were sleeping. He said he found some odd marking on back. Mind turning around so I can see?" With that look, Sora wasn't sure to think. He knew Riku was worried, but that smile seemed... far too happy... What was going on?

After a moment, Sora complied, turning his back to his friend, worried at what he would find...

**A/N: Oh, Jiminy Cricket! Another cliff hanger! So sorry, chu. Anyway, please review! Feedback (especially when good) tends to destroy my writer's block and demands I write more, so... if you are hoping for more, all you got to do is review. Tank ya And many apologies if Riku seems a tad OOC. I have absolutely _no idea_ on how Riku acts in the second game, so I just made him act the way he would (at least I think so) in the first one.**


	4. PAIN

**A/N: Finally, another chapter. YAY! Some Yaoi in this one, but not much. If you don't like yaoi, then why the fuck are you reading this? Tis all**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

_Last time on Feelings Left Alone:_

_Axel is blackmailed by Demyx to protect Roxas from Xemnas' wrath but then Roxas' chamber doors open . . . _

_Sora is attacked by something unknown, and gets picked up by Riku. He awakes in Halloween Town and Riku speaks of something that is on Sora's back and askes to see._

* * *

His body tensed in fear, then flinched as he felt a fingertip run along his spine. It was joined with a hand, ghosting over the small of his back then up to the brunette's nape. The hand then slid over his shoulder, and he could sense Riku stepping closer to him. It explored the younger's chest as if trying to engrave the lithe figure into his memory. Sora shivered, but he wasn't sure if it was from a small hint of pleasure or fear.

"Riku, what are you doing?"

The silver haired boy smiled and placed his head on his friend's shoulder.

"How does it feel... to know everyone on all the worlds are depending on you? To know that their lives are in your hands?" Riku asked, running both hands along the brunette's stomach now.

"That's got nothing to do with..."

"It has _everything_ to do with it," the older interrupted. He nipped lightly at Sora's neck, seeming to purr at the mewls the keyblade master made. "It's stressful, isn't it?"

"Riku, stop..."

"And you wonder, is there some kind of freedom for you in the end?" Those hands went a little lower, playing with the hem of the brunette's pants.

"Stop it," Sora breathed.

"You no longer need to look, no need to wonder. Your freedom is here, with me," and the hands slipped under the linen, palming the other's nether regions.

"STOP!" the younger screamed, fighting his way out of Riku's arms and pushing him away. He looked at his older friend, terrified. Never had Riku done this to him, there may have been a few times in the past where they goofed off, but not like this. Nothing like this, and this added to Sora's fear. It was hard enough dealing with his previous fear in Riku's presence, but now he just couldn't take it. He fell on his bottom and scooted away from his friend until his back hit the wall. The wall was cold, making him shiver, and the shiver became a tremble as the silver haired boy approached him.

"Why are you trying to seduce me?" was the brunette's question, trying to push Riku away as he got on his knees, and leaned in toward the younger.

"I'm not trying," came the reply, the older brushing a brown lock out of his friend's face. "I intend to succeed," and he kissed Sora, one hand on the brunette's chest and the other palming.

As much as he tried, the keyblade master's attempt to escape was futile, Riku was stronger than him, and he hated himself as he couldn't stop himself from mewling at his friend's actions. The kiss itself was gentle, yet demanding, dominating over the younger easily. Oh, this was so wrong, but Sora couldn't help but give in. He gasped as the older palmed his length harder, hips rising against the hand, but something was screaming at him, an unknown but familiar voice.

"_You're just going to let him control you?"_

_No, _was the answer. _But there's nothing I can do to stop him. And it feels so good..._

The voice seemed outraged. _"Don't you even fucking consider it!" _it screamed. It sounded hurt, as if in pain. Sora realized after a few moments the voice was male, sounding too masculine for a woman, but not too much. Who was speaking to him, and exactly how the hell did he get inside the brunette's mind? _"Don't let him touch you! You don't need any physical pleasure to fill the emptiness of your heart!"_

Tch, what did the voice know? Sora just ignored it, giving in completely to Riku, kissing back even which caused the silver haired boy to moan. Suddenly, that same fear from before came rearing it's ugly head again. The brunette couldn't breath, so he managed to push his friend away. Breath still seemed impossible to grasp and he began choking. Riku called out to him, but Sora heard nothing, his senses failing him as Riku tried for his friend's attention. Nothing, only the continuous morbid choking sound. Why was this happening? Was this the work... of the voice?

That no longer mattered, Sora needed to breathe, he could've sworn his face beginning to turn blue.

"_I'll fucking kill you, Sora. Don't you think I won't..."_

Dear god! So the voice was the one doing this to him, all of that dreadful fear, the haunting paranoia! Pain overtook his body, starting in his back around the shoulder blades. Guess Riku wasn't lying as Sora thought after the seduction began about an odd mark, originally noticed by Doctor Finkelstein. This had to stop, before the brunette would die due to asphyxiation.

As quickly as all of this began, it ended, the back of a hand making contact with Sora's face, surely leaving quite the mark. It was Riku, hand held in mid air for a moment before lowering it down, emerald spheres questioning sapphire.

"Sora, what's wrong?" but before a reply could be given, the brunette had left the room and ran off, giving Riku a good glimpse of a strange marking on the other's back he hadn't seen before. It was black, shaped as something similar to the Christian cross, only more ornate with long lines detailed with purple that almost seemed to glow. The silver haired boy knew nothing of what just happened, but he wouldn't let it remain that way for long.

* * *

Axel darted out into the hallway, the brunette following in protest. In the doorway of the now open chamber stood Roxas, hair mussed, uniform askew. Black rings had formed under his eyes, surely from lack of sleep. He walked toward Axel and Demyx, shoving them in opposite directions and continuing past. The blonde walked, tripping over his feet a few times and seeking balance with a gloved hand on a wall. The two men just looked on, Demyx muttering something similar to "what's up with him?", Axel wanting to run over to the boy who he had unexpectedly fallen in love with despite having no heart.

It almost hurt, seeing Roxas like this, knowing the red head himself was most likely to blame. The boy obviously needed some sort of medical attention, stopping in mid-step and hanging his head, hand covering his mouth as if he were going to retch. He began to whisper some things, incoherent to the men behind him. He then turned around and looked to Axel, sapphire locking with emerald. His body began to tremble, quickly turning into a violent shake, and his knees buckled under him and his ass met the floor.

If this wasn't such an important moment, Axel would've laughed his ass off just as Demyx was, but instead he elbowed the brunette next to him hard, to silence his laughter.

"..." but Axel knew he heard some sounds within the silence Roxas emitted.

Finally, the red head ran over, bringing the blonde to his feet. He held the other's shoulders, questions written all over his face.

"Roxas, why have you been locking yourself up in your room?" was the first of them to sound from his lips.

Said boy hung his head, the movement interrupted by one of Axel's hands.

"Roxas..."

"Get away from me!" the blonde suddenly yelled, causing the other to jump including Demyx. He pushed Axel away and ran the best he could before falling. His hands prevented him from falling on his face and the pace of his breathing began to hasten. "Just stay the fuck away from me..." This sound more as a beg than an angry threat. "I am nothing... nothing more, something less. I have no meaning... Reality has no place for me. My existence is pointless..."

Axel looked at the blonde with wide eyes. "Rox..."

"That name is pointless!" the boy screamed, interrupting the other. Silence hung for a few moments before Roxas shouted something. "Don't you even fucking consider it!" He jumped to his feet and ran off, successfully not tripping once.

To the others, this outburst was utterly random, leaving them with questions of why Roxas had said it. When the blonde was out of sight, Demyx walked over to the red head, arms wrapping around his waist. Guess the other wanted to continue what they had previously started despite the blonde's interruption. Disgusted, Axel pulled away and began to follow Roxas, calling out to him and leaving Demyx alone in the hall.

The red head ran, hoping he could reach his love... wait, could he really call Roxas a love? The words the blonde said about himself rang through Axel's ears like a revelation. It was true, the Organization XIII members were all nothing, especially bringing into thought that they were all Nobodies, advanced forms of Dusks. They weren't much different than the creatures they controlled, and with that in mind, Axel wasn't in the best of moods.

It wasn't until he passed almost all of the Organization chambers he remembered he could teleport. Feeling like an idiot, he did, finding the broken blonde when he reappeared. He was in the world known as Halloween Town, the world full of ghouls and monsters.

Roxas was seated upon the hill in the graveyard that swirled inward at the top. His knees were close to his chest, chin resting on them. Axel heard something, something to be taken as words perhaps, but shrugged it off. Sure to be quiet, the red head walked up to the hill, kicking at the apparitions that pulled on his ankles from the graves he strolled by. The red head had a distinctive swing in his shoulders as he walked, feeling his uniform constrict about his thighs with every step up he took on the hill.

Blonde locks struck out from the darkness, seeming to give off a light even. When close enough, Axel was able to tell what Roxas was doing. The boy was plucking leaves from a dead weed, seeming to be engrossed in doing so.

"That looks awfully boring," Axel said when he was behind the blonde. "Why are you going through all the trouble to avoid me?"

"I'm not avoiding you..."

"Bull shit." The red head sat down by the other, taking the weed from him. "What are you doing here? Why did you run from me? Why are you acting this way? Why..."

"Stop asking me so many damn questions!" Roxas snapped. "Because I felt like it, okay? Now just leave me alone."

Axel was silent for a moment, then smiled as he leaned back and laid on his back. "I'll never leave you alone, now that I love you."

"... Don't say things you don't mean. That only brings pain. You know we can't love. You know it's impossible. You know we don't have hearts..."

"I am damn tired of hearing about all of this 'heart' business. I told you that I have the heart you gave me, don't you remember?" the red head asked, his smile already gone. "I was serious when I said that."

There was anger in Roxas' face as he looked at the other. "You're a damned fool. I didn't give you anything. You are stuck in those petty delusions. Get real, Axel. We are Nobodies. Love does not exist for us. Love is . . ." but the blonde was cut off as Axel pulled him down for a kiss. Roxas fought to get away, but was securely held there. He didn't kiss back, he only kept trying to push himself away from the other. His eyes were closed tight, tears daring to fall from them.

And they did fall. Axel felt them hit his cheeks. Once he did, Roxas _did_ kiss back but it felt terrible because the red head was kissing sadness and it tasted horrible. He pulled away, looking up into the other's sapphire eyes which were now open. There were so many questions he wanted to ask, but couldn't. Through his silence, Roxas was able to interpret this and pulled further away, so he was sitting upright and held his knees to his chest.

"I don't want to feel these things for you," the blonde said, the first to speak.

Axel was confused. "Why?"

"You know nothing!" Roxas practically screamed at him, but suddenly, his head shot up and he looked up at the sky. He stood up and began to walk down the hill, making Axel shoot up into a sitting position.

"Where are you going?"

Roxas said nothing, yet his lips had moved, as he pulled the hood of his robe up over his head and made his twin keyblades appear. In just moments, he was passed the little fence at the foot of the hill and headed into Guillotine Square. Behind him Dusks appeared, following him in the boneless manner they moved by. Up at the top of the hill, Axel knew there was trouble, but something in the pit of his stomach told him not to move. Wait . . . he couldn't move. It clicked nearly instantly: Roxas had use an immobilization spell on him. There was nothing he could do but watch the blonde walk away with the Dusks slithering about.

* * *

Finally, Sora had found the exit of the crazy place he was in, which happened to be Dr. Finkelstein's laboratory. On his way down, he ran into the living doll, Sally, and disregarded her when she asked why he was in such a hurry. Why did his room have to be the highest up? So he could trip down all the stairs? The brunette was out the door with the sound of Sally's gentle voice calling out to him. She would probably call for Jack, but Sora shrugged off the thought. The last time he visited Halloween Town, he heard Jack Skellington was in Christmas Town running around in Santa's clothes. Lovely image indeed.

He was coming up to Guillotine Square, which means he was nearing the teleportation device close to it and get the hell out of here. Of course, he wouldn't get off that easily. To his displeasure, he spotted the Pumpkin King. Guess he came back early.

In the cheery way he usually did, Jack waved hi and called out to Sora, saying he came up with a new scare that he wanted to show the boy. No time, Sora's back was burning and he didn't know why. He shoved the skeleton aside, knocking Jack off his feet and right into a gravestone, causing his head to pop off. The brunette felt no guilt and was relieved when he finally reached Guillotine Square. Tired, he sat on the stones bordering the fountain with the monster the looked to be holding it's own neck and spouted a green liquid. He was still dressed in the pajama pants from earlier, and his feet felt a little sore from running for they were bare.

Suddenly, his back and shoulders flared with pain and he cried out in agony. It felt as if it were on fire, and his skin was bubbling from the heat. Sora fell from the stones and onto the pavement, face first and on his kness. Again, he cried out. This was absolute torture, but somehow, things have gotten worse.

He heard footsteps and looked up to face a blade much like his own pointed at him. The wielder was wearing black and was hooded, and Sora recognized the uniform instantly. It was an Organization XIII member, Dusks behind them as well. Well, wasn't this just peachy? The brunette was going to be killed finally while defenseless. Roughly, the figure forced Sora to his feet then threw him against one of the stone walls about the square. Sora felt the air escape him upon impact. His vision was slightly blurry now, but he could still make out the dancing of the Dusks.

The figure sent the Dusks forward, and again, Sora was forced onto his feet, then shoved forward onto the ground. Sora landed face first, but he didn't feel it compared to the burning in his back.

"The time has come, Keyblade Master," the figure said.

Sora was shocked and tried his best to look up at his attacker. They held two keyblades (why hadn't he noticed that before?) and was about the same size as he was. Their voice was what had shocked him. It was the same male voice that spoke to him when Riku tried to seduce him.

"Who . . . who are you?" the brunette tried to ask, his voice a little quiet.

The other laughed sardonically. "I'm hurt, you did create me after all. I am you Sora, and I was born a year ago when you went to Hollow Bastion. Remember when you became a Heartless, Sora, when trying to save that wretch you were so fixed on protecting?" He stepped forward and hit Sora's ribs with a powerful kick. "That's when I formed. That's when this tragedy began to be. In a way, this is all your own fault. If only you were a little more selfish . . ." Another kick, and Sora screamed out. "If only you were just a little more fucking selfish." A smile spread across his lips. "But no matter, you're going to get yours in just a few moments. I'm going to turn your life into hell. Hear that?! A fucking hell!" Again, he laughed sardonically.

Sora was about to speak, but he felt a pain like nothing he had ever felt before and cried out. Something was coming out of his back, and as he sat back on his haunches, all he could manage to do was hold his shoulders. Bloody tears streamed from his eyes and pooled on the pavement.

A snicker sounded from the other as he watched, taking a few steps back. From the glowing cross on the brunette's back, a creature was emerging, making the skin around the cross crack as if it were stone. The creature was black, so black it was impossible to tell entirely how it was shaped and if it had arms or not. It looked at the robed boy as he pulled down his hood. Roxas smiled deviously as his eyes were locked with the red spheres of the creature. The creature began to take form, and it looked like a Shadow Sora Heartless, and by the looks of it, it was halfway out of the brunette. The Dusks nearby fled cowardly, leaving the three of them there: Sora, Roxas, and the creature.

Well, make that four. Riku had showed up at the scene, with an unreadable expression on his face. He instantly recognized Roxas, and drew forth his own keyblade and took a battle stance.

Roxas just looked at the silver haired boy and laughed.

"You aren't challenging _me_, are you? Do you remember what happened during out last fight? I do believe you lost pitifully . . ."

"What have you done to Sora?!" Riku beamed.

Upon hearing Riku's voice, the brunette looked up and muttered something that could have been taken as his friend's name.

"I don't plan on doing much to him. All I want is his _humanity_."

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**A/N: Review, please. ** **Reviews make me write more, and that's always a good thing**


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